


Clinic Visit

by Pickleweasel



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist, House M.D.
Genre: Crossover, Humor, M/M, Medical, Medical Procedures, Sexual Humor, Slash, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-18
Updated: 2012-02-18
Packaged: 2017-10-31 09:46:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/342633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pickleweasel/pseuds/Pickleweasel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ed comes to the Princeton Plainsboro clinic with quite a predicament for House to deal with...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clinic Visit

**Author's Note:**

> This is a response to a crossover meme "Tell us how _ would react to seeing _ nekkid!" I was so lucky to have House and Ed as the characters that wound up being thrown together for this particular one.

“Hmmmm… those are some interesting prosthetics you’ve got there,” House said, sizing up Ed’s automail, completely ignoring the fact that the younger man was naked and sporting an erection. “Do you have any pain at the connection points? I’d be interested in speaking to your mechanic.” He twirled his cane between long fingers as he leaned against the counter by the sink in the clinic treatment room.

“Damn it, bastard, I’m not here to get you a new leg,” Ed growled. “If you haven’t noticed, I’ve got a hard-on, and it hasn’t gone away in four hours! Some asshole thought it would be funny to sneak a ton of Viagra into my food.”

“Have you tried, oh, I don’t know, jerking off?” House asked in his usual ‘all patients are idiots’ tone. He took in Ed’s visible lack of embarrassment with being nude. He didn’t know why his patient had chosen to forgo the hospital gown that sat on the examination table, but it was certainly amusing.

“You think I haven’t tried that? Chafed my dick raw doing it.” Ed crossed his arms and huffed. “Just help me out, doc. I don’t have all day.”

“Hmmm,” House pretended to think for much longer than he actually needed to formulate a solution. A quick glance at Ed’s cock had been enough to note that it looked painfully red, but he drew out his answer anyway, just for the hell of it. “I think this calls for an alternative treatment.”

Turning away from Ed, who was glaring at him expectantly, House opened a drawer and grabbed a tube. He removed a pair of gloves from the box on the counter and snapped them on before speaking again. “Direct prostate stimulation may just do the trick.”

House smirked and approached Ed, who remained silent, eyes widening in trepidation.

“Now bend over the exam table.”


End file.
